Happy Thanksgiving!! So this post is a few days late (sorry). But I did have something happen on Tuesday 11/26:
Walking back to my car (parked behind the Walgreen's again) I had planned to cut through the alleyway that runs straight back to Silver and right where I parked my car instead of having to go all the way around the building. Well, I started to head down the alley way and next thing I see is three older dudes doing who knows what next to a hair salon that's down that alley. I immediately changed my path to go around the building and avoid them altogether.
Yes, it was the middle of the day.
No, there wasn't anyone else around.
Yes, I avoided them because I didn't feel safe walking past them to get to my car.
No, they didn't approach me or say anything to me.
I chose to alter my walking path on my own.
My question though is: would it have done me any good to just keep walking past them? To not change my route because some random dudes might or might not say something to me?
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Catcalled Day 4
No catcalling today, but I was thinking a lot about one particular incident of borderline harassment (verbal harassment, nothing physical thank goodness) that happened to me about a year ago in August or around then. The reason I was thinking about it was sort of silly; I was doing laundry yesterday and was folding the shirt that I was wearing when it happened. Super cute shirt, red and gray stripes with a scoop neckline.
The Scene: Jimmy John's on Yale and Central
The Characters: My boyfriend, my mom, and me
I was running errands in town with my mom and decided to call my boyfriend when he got out of class to see if he wanted to meet us for lunch. He said yes and suggested the sandwich place Jimmy John's since it was near campus.
So we three get there and get our food and are all set up on the patio enjoying lunch at a table near the door that led inside.
Enter Sketchy Homeless Guy. And let me be clear, I don't just say that because he was homeless or a derelict or whatever. His behavior clearly indicated that he was up to no good (weaving stance, flailing arms, etc). He approached us at our table for money, and we politely turned him away. He mumbled something incoherent and moved on to the next table. He then came back to our table, and after we politely turned him down again, he mumbled "hey i've gotta eat too" before turning away again.
Now being someone who works (well, worked at this point) in a customer service job that has to often deal with people loitering and panhandling in the parking lot, I always appreciate when customers come to tell me about those types of people rather than leaving my work and letting it spoil their day, and subsequently their opinions of our shop. So I went in to Jimmy John's and politely told the girl behind the counter that there was someone panhandling on their patio.
Girl: "Ok thank you. We'll take care of it."
I didn't know that while I was talking to her, the gentleman in question had come in to the cafe and had started asking people inside for money. As soon as I finished talking to her, I turned around and when back outside to my boyfriend and mom.
We were continuing our lunch when the same gentleman came up to our table a third time. My boyfriend, sitting opposite me at the table but closest to Central, got more firm in his turn-down saying "Look man, we don't have any money sorry." The gentleman looks at me, then looks back to my boyfriend and says "Damn, I wish I had tits like that" before stumbling off down Central. It took my boyfriend a good three seconds to say "Are you fucking serious?!" and my mom even less time than that to storm in to the cafe.
What did I do, you ask? Well, in retrospect, what I wanted to do was tell him off and maybe slap him. But what I actually did was immediately hang my head, turn around to grab my mom's jacket (she's always cold so she brings a jacket with her pretty much wherever we go) and begin to cry behind my sunglasses. Cry because I've never been so embarrassed and never felt so degraded in my entire life.
We left shortly thereafter, but not before my superhero of a mother went in to the restaurant and chewed out the manager of Jimmy John's, saying "my daughter came in and told you about this guy and he bugged us three times and now he's just verbally accosted her".
My other reaction, after the shock had worn off, was to throw that shirt away because it made me feel gross to look at it knowing that people thought disgusting things while I was wearing it. I mean, if that one guy had say something awful while I was wearing it, who knows how many other guys had thought the same thing and just didn't say anything, right?
Wrong.
That's why I kept that shirt. Why should I change my outfit/route home/parking spot/behavior/whatever to make sure that I'm not affected by the terrible things people say or do? That just gives them exactly what they want. So I will wear that shirt tomorrow, and I will continue to wear it as long as I want (or until it doesn't fit anymore, whichever comes first) because, as Eve Ensler said it best in her poem "My Short Skirt" "My short skirt, and everything under it, is mine, mine, mine."
The Scene: Jimmy John's on Yale and Central
The Characters: My boyfriend, my mom, and me
I was running errands in town with my mom and decided to call my boyfriend when he got out of class to see if he wanted to meet us for lunch. He said yes and suggested the sandwich place Jimmy John's since it was near campus.
So we three get there and get our food and are all set up on the patio enjoying lunch at a table near the door that led inside.
Enter Sketchy Homeless Guy. And let me be clear, I don't just say that because he was homeless or a derelict or whatever. His behavior clearly indicated that he was up to no good (weaving stance, flailing arms, etc). He approached us at our table for money, and we politely turned him away. He mumbled something incoherent and moved on to the next table. He then came back to our table, and after we politely turned him down again, he mumbled "hey i've gotta eat too" before turning away again.
Now being someone who works (well, worked at this point) in a customer service job that has to often deal with people loitering and panhandling in the parking lot, I always appreciate when customers come to tell me about those types of people rather than leaving my work and letting it spoil their day, and subsequently their opinions of our shop. So I went in to Jimmy John's and politely told the girl behind the counter that there was someone panhandling on their patio.
Girl: "Ok thank you. We'll take care of it."
I didn't know that while I was talking to her, the gentleman in question had come in to the cafe and had started asking people inside for money. As soon as I finished talking to her, I turned around and when back outside to my boyfriend and mom.
We were continuing our lunch when the same gentleman came up to our table a third time. My boyfriend, sitting opposite me at the table but closest to Central, got more firm in his turn-down saying "Look man, we don't have any money sorry." The gentleman looks at me, then looks back to my boyfriend and says "Damn, I wish I had tits like that" before stumbling off down Central. It took my boyfriend a good three seconds to say "Are you fucking serious?!" and my mom even less time than that to storm in to the cafe.
What did I do, you ask? Well, in retrospect, what I wanted to do was tell him off and maybe slap him. But what I actually did was immediately hang my head, turn around to grab my mom's jacket (she's always cold so she brings a jacket with her pretty much wherever we go) and begin to cry behind my sunglasses. Cry because I've never been so embarrassed and never felt so degraded in my entire life.
We left shortly thereafter, but not before my superhero of a mother went in to the restaurant and chewed out the manager of Jimmy John's, saying "my daughter came in and told you about this guy and he bugged us three times and now he's just verbally accosted her".
My other reaction, after the shock had worn off, was to throw that shirt away because it made me feel gross to look at it knowing that people thought disgusting things while I was wearing it. I mean, if that one guy had say something awful while I was wearing it, who knows how many other guys had thought the same thing and just didn't say anything, right?
Wrong.
That's why I kept that shirt. Why should I change my outfit/route home/parking spot/behavior/whatever to make sure that I'm not affected by the terrible things people say or do? That just gives them exactly what they want. So I will wear that shirt tomorrow, and I will continue to wear it as long as I want (or until it doesn't fit anymore, whichever comes first) because, as Eve Ensler said it best in her poem "My Short Skirt" "My short skirt, and everything under it, is mine, mine, mine."
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Catcalled Day 3 (11/20)
Sorry. The end of the week got to be crazy. But I do have something to report for 11/20.
As I was walking back to my car parked behind the Walgreen's on Girard, I was honked at by a guy driving by in his car. No leering, no leaning out of the window to say terrible things. Just a honk as he drove by. And I was the only one nearby on the sidewalk so it must have been for me.
Why do men think this is an ok way to acknowledge women? I used to think when I got honked at "really? really? I'm wearing sweatpants why are you honking at me?" or something to that effect. But it took a good friend of mine to point out to me that it doesn't matter what you wear. You could be wearing nothing and having men honk/catcall/whistle at you would still not be ok. And yet, when men take the time to compliment a woman with their words, you know "I like your boots" or "Your eyes are pretty" or whatever, most women that I know would accuse that guy of being a creep.
Honestly I would prefer a compliment with words than whistles or honking. And usually men don't mean compliments with words to be creepy. Just accept the compliment and move on. We'll see what Monday has in store. It's the weekend and snowy so that means I won't be leaving my house today. :) In the meantime, I found this picture to enjoy from Facebook.
Sorry. The end of the week got to be crazy. But I do have something to report for 11/20.
As I was walking back to my car parked behind the Walgreen's on Girard, I was honked at by a guy driving by in his car. No leering, no leaning out of the window to say terrible things. Just a honk as he drove by. And I was the only one nearby on the sidewalk so it must have been for me.
Why do men think this is an ok way to acknowledge women? I used to think when I got honked at "really? really? I'm wearing sweatpants why are you honking at me?" or something to that effect. But it took a good friend of mine to point out to me that it doesn't matter what you wear. You could be wearing nothing and having men honk/catcall/whistle at you would still not be ok. And yet, when men take the time to compliment a woman with their words, you know "I like your boots" or "Your eyes are pretty" or whatever, most women that I know would accuse that guy of being a creep.
Honestly I would prefer a compliment with words than whistles or honking. And usually men don't mean compliments with words to be creepy. Just accept the compliment and move on. We'll see what Monday has in store. It's the weekend and snowy so that means I won't be leaving my house today. :) In the meantime, I found this picture to enjoy from Facebook.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Catcalled Day 1
No catcalling really happened yesterday (11/18). I parked off-campus behind the McDonald's on Yale and walked to class. I did notice something on the way back to my car after class though. There was a group of mostly men, mostly Native American, sitting on the concrete wall as you walk in to the lot where i parked my car. I saw them from a distance, and immediately went in to fast-walking, head down, don't-bother-me walking mode, complete with getting my keys in my hand before I even entered the parking lot.
None of them stopped me, for panhandling or to buy jewelry or any of the other things I've been asked on the street in Albuquerque. But I still went through the motions to be ready in case one of the bothered me.
Why?
No catcalling really happened yesterday (11/18). I parked off-campus behind the McDonald's on Yale and walked to class. I did notice something on the way back to my car after class though. There was a group of mostly men, mostly Native American, sitting on the concrete wall as you walk in to the lot where i parked my car. I saw them from a distance, and immediately went in to fast-walking, head down, don't-bother-me walking mode, complete with getting my keys in my hand before I even entered the parking lot.
None of them stopped me, for panhandling or to buy jewelry or any of the other things I've been asked on the street in Albuquerque. But I still went through the motions to be ready in case one of the bothered me.
Why?
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Catcalled
Ok. Hey blog. How's it going? Long time no see. Lots of news to catch you up on, but we'll save that for another time.
For Women's Studies, we have to pick a blog project and keep track of it for a week. Our choices were: Queer Like Me, Unslut Project, and Catcalled. Unfortunately, I let this project slip away from me and it's nearing the end of the semester. Even more unfortunate is my choice because it is the easiest, Catcalled.
if you like, my teacher got the info from the OG site catcalled.org
I say it's the easiest because I've been catcalled on a near-daily basis, especially after returning to school at our University. It's near Route 66, which is like the busiest street in town and guys think it's ok to honk or whistle out at girls walking up or down this street.
So, since I've been at home all day this project will begin tomorrow.
For Women's Studies, we have to pick a blog project and keep track of it for a week. Our choices were: Queer Like Me, Unslut Project, and Catcalled. Unfortunately, I let this project slip away from me and it's nearing the end of the semester. Even more unfortunate is my choice because it is the easiest, Catcalled.
if you like, my teacher got the info from the OG site catcalled.org
I say it's the easiest because I've been catcalled on a near-daily basis, especially after returning to school at our University. It's near Route 66, which is like the busiest street in town and guys think it's ok to honk or whistle out at girls walking up or down this street.
So, since I've been at home all day this project will begin tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)